This is for you Mamma…
I was a tiny little egg then,
Deep down inside your womb,
Didn’t even have lungs to inhale,
Was an insignificant being?
But you made me a vital part of yours,
Who was I then, of yours? Strangers completely, you n me,
But still you wanted to bring me to life.
You felt the pain inside you; I was the one,
Who was giving you that?
But still you accepted all that without a groan,
You gave me my eyes; you gave me my nose,
And you gave me my arms,
And you gave me the fingers,
You gave me the legs, and
I kept kicking you from inside.
However unknowingly, unwillingly, I kept doing it,
Coz I wanted to come out somehow,
Not realizing how selfish that was of me.
But you kept saying that you cherished the ache,
How can someone love like this?
I was trying to come out of you, real hard,
And you were so impatient to see me,
That all the hurting was so trivial,
And then I came out of you, in the world of people,
You held my fingers so tenderly,
You held me so gently,
I was a lily in your garden of roses.
You watered every wish of mine,
You have nurtured every thought that went through me,
You are the reason that I learnt to smile
Coz I used to watch you smiling always like Mariam.
You made me stronger to live life my way
Although you couldn’t live yours the way you wanted.
You made sure your baby got all that she wanted;
May it be a balloon or a kite;
A doll or the stars;
You made it a point to bring me all that I didn’t even think I can have;
You nursed me when I was ill;
Sat besides my bed the whole bunch on nights,
Wishing that God could more have put you through this illness;
You wanted me to be healthy all the time;
You scolded me for not eating proper lunches;
And I thought you were just being over protective;
You made me study day and night & you bashed me up when I didn’t;
And I thought how cruel can a person be, beating a small child like me;
Never realizing that you were making me bigger day by day by giving me knowledge;
I was growing up when you warned me about not talking much with some people,
But I being an obstinate & annoying child
Never noticed the unconditional love behind those warnings,
People ditched me, I was heartbroken, I thought you’ll leave me & go away like everyone did coz I treated you the way I shouldn’t have ever;
But you stood by me like a solid rock; undeterred, firm & strong;
You taught me how to tackle losses;
You taught me how to stand face to face with fear;
You taught me what love can be;
You taught me that life can be tough but we can be tougher
I now realize Mom, How much you gave me;
No matter how much I hated you for being over-possessive, dominating, irritating at times, adding to my frustrations, and not understanding me;
I realize how wrong a child can be,
I realize that I love you like I love no one else, not even Dad,
I realize that I am not even a minute entity without you Mom,
I realize that I am the one who deserves hatred;
But still you love me; with every passing day I realize how wrong I was when I didn’t understand your Love;
So today Mom, I take this opportunity, to tell you,
(Although you know it all)
That I love you,
I can’t exist without you,
I am sorry for all the pain & illness that I gave you,
I am sorry for all the rubbish I spoke about you,
I regret my words & I don’t know how I can repair this damage,
I need to tell you today Mom, that you are my Goddess,
I kneel down before you & salute you for everything that you did for me,
This is dedicated to you Mom, Goddess of love, sacrifice & humanity.
I thank you for everything that you gave me.
I thank you for letting me get born, wish, dream & live life to the fullest.
I love you Mom.
For ever.
Regards,
Anushree!!
